2/23/11
So it seems like once again, I will be giving up one want to pursue another. It’s nothing extraordinary, really; I just miss color guard so much, and maybe Premonition wont be Flanagan, but maybe that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Some place within the realm of color guard that I truly feel I belong. Because let’s face it, I didn’t belong at Flanagan. So I go forth, and I give up the one thing that’s most likely kept me sane through my transition from high school to college, living on campus. And sure, more than once it’s probably kept me from the point of breaking, being able to do what I want and need at anytime I see fit, sharing the night with friends/roommates who I will miss once next year rolls around, and just, in general, not being at home to endure the stresses of the fights, the medial tasks, and everything that goes along with them, and just being at a place that just doesn’t quite feel like “home” anymore. But maybe that’s what I need, too. The initiative to get up at the crack of dawn, and get in my car and go to school, no more late night trips, all-nighters, or missing class to sleep in because I was an idiot the night before. So I’m moving forward, and yes, maybe all of these scholarships I am applying for will pay off and I will be able to, once again, live on campus, but the fact and reality is, maybe they wont. I want Premonition, and if it means giving up the safe haven of living on campus, then so be it.
